#Also I really need to read Heather's take on it because I haven't and it's a shame

[deadpresidents]

Thanks for being real today.

I get people wanting to be hopeful.

But I can't with "it will be okay" and "we will survive this."

It was not okay for Heather Heyer, Joseph Rosenbaum, Anthony Huber, Joyce Fienberg, Richard Gottfried, Rose Mallinger, Jerry Rabinowitz, Cecil & David Rosenthal, Bernice & Sylvan Simon, Daniel Stein, Melvin Wax, Irving Younger, Andre Anchondo, Jordan Anchondo, Arturo Benavides, Leonardo Campos, Angie Englisbee, Maria Flores, Raul Flores, Guillermo "Memo" Garcia, Jorge Calvillo García, Adolfo Cerros Hernández, Alexander Gerhard Hoffman, David Johnson, Luis Alfonzo Juarez, Maria Eugenia Legarreta Rothe, Maribel (Campos) Loya, Ivan Filiberto Manzano, Elsa Mendoza Marquez, Gloria Irma Márquez, Margie Reckard, Sara Esther Regalado Moriel, Javier Rodriguez, Teresa Sanchez, Juan Velazquez, or any of the other people killed by white supremacists whose actions were aided and abetted by the Trump presidency. These people did not survive. Not to mention all the people who haven't survived COVID, but might have if the Trump administration had taken timely action. Or the women who have died after being refused appropriate medical care because of the rapist and his buddies that Trump appointed decided with some weird pastor in the 1600 said was more important than the lives of actual living, breathing, human beings. Or the school children who would not have been shot to death if we had actual gun control laws in this country, a thing that would have been possible to achieve if Trump had lost in 2016.

Yeah, sure, the majority of us in the United States will probably survive. That's how statistics work. And if that's what somebody needs to hear in order to move forward, then I guess saying such things has a purpose. But it's looking pretty shitty for anybody living in Ukraine and to me, it comes across as disrespectful to the people whose lives have been lost in no small part thanks to what goes down in US elections.

I needed somebody today who would say not only that this is not okay, but this is *really* not okay.

Thanks for being that voice.

Thank you for this. I can't help but write what I feel, even if some of it hasn't been the most optimistic message to send. There is a reality that we need to come to terms with in order to find some way forward. I'm pissed off and I'm disgusted with this country, so I'm going to keep doing what I've been doing because it is therapeutic for me right now and I'm too old to go around punching and kicking people.

I do want to say that I'm also cognizant of the fact that some people just need some time to allow this reality to settle. I certainly don't want to add to the stress or darkness that some of us are feeling right now. There is no denying that this is fucking terrible, but we will regroup and find a way through it. It won't be easy and we're going to have to fight, but I don't want anybody to think that there is genuinely no hope. There's always something that we can do, even if it seems bleak.

If I'm writing something or somebody else is saying something that you're not ready to hear, it's okay to do what you need to do to remain healthy. These posts are going to be here whenever you might feel like reading them. You can and should step away from this if you just need a fucking break. It doesn't mean you're any less ready or willing to fight this battle than anybody else. Even if Trump and the rotten MAGA cult takes control of every lever of power, you can gain a personal victory by not allowing them to completely crush your faith in the future. You can be depressed and despair, but do not give up. Do not give them that power over you. We will find a way. We will get through this. We will figure out what it is that we need to do and who we need to back and how we need to attack, but taking care of your personal health and well-being is more immediately important than the bigger political battle or the next step in the resistance. Take care of yourselves first and we'll still be here and ready to eventually harness this anger and frustration and fucking disgust to defeat the MAGA movement and Trump's Christian nationalist personality cult.

The main thing, though, is that if you're really having a tough time in the immediate future, step away, take some time, go for a walk, read something that has absolutely nothing to do with Donald Trump or American politics (if you need suggestions, I always have book recommendations!), and regroup. Again, we'll get through this, and as goofy and weird and ridiculous as Tumblr can be at times, there's always a community of people on this site willing to listen and help each other when we're struggling. So, if you are having trouble getting to tomorrow, reach out because there are scores of people here who will help get there with you.

[camellia-salazar]

April's drawings and doodles!! Get ready! 🎉🌟

At first, I was gonna draw ARG tangled in some rope, but then the rope looked like a ribbon, so I made Gangle into a monster instead. Also, I drew two of the most underated cats from Warriors ever, especially Lionheart.

(I started this first but finished it second). Drawings of certain characters cause their birthdays this month, except for Colin his birthday is at the end of March. I just forgot to draw him. I just love how Cody, Popee, and Waluigi share the same birthday, tho. 🎉

Edit: (No offense to those born on April 1st, btw).

I was writing a story with these six, inspired by The New Prophecy. But I haven't written it in some time. Idk if I'll ever continue it. I don't think I'll post it anywhere, either. Probably.

The next two drawings I started a month or so ago but didn't finish until this month.

Took quite a while to finish, but I'm glad I did. Idk where this takes place yet, but it is a scene from that crossover I keep thinking about but never really writing down.

Either takes place before or after the drawing above it, I don't really remember. What I do know, tho is that I drew these drawings because idk I just felt like Adam would have interesting interactions with some other characters.

I rushed this at the end. I did not want to leave it out. I want a clean slate next month. God damn it. I love crossovers, how bout you?

More about the Multifandom lore and other stuff below if you want:

Characters who die in canon that end up in the place (idk what to call it) keep being in the clothing that they died in. (Rip Ram and Kurt from Heathers: the Musical). (Spoilers warning if needed) So Adam is stuck with his robe he wore during the war with Charlie and the others from the hotel.

Also, about the 3rd drawing, like I said, it's an idea I had that, yes, takes place in the same crossover thing I think about. The colors in the background of each kiddo are involved in it, too.

The first two drawings are pretty much just some random doodles (idk what to do with the one with ARG and monster Gangle) while the other three kinda have stories to them that may or may not be written or animated on someday. (God, I hope that last sentence made sense).

Oh, and Bluey, Bingo and their cousins got to visit the Cul-De-Sac cause of a reason that's also in the multifandom/crossover I think about, I don't know if I should explain it or not. Meh.

BTW I've tried to match the original art styles of everything before, but this time, I've taken some steps forward. The hardest thing to figure out is the claynimated ones like Orel, Clay, and Claire. But I managed (for now, probably).

Edit: i went back and fixed it, I feel so much better about it now.

I even tried to have it seem like Bluey and others are slowly transitioning to the EEnE art style a bit.

But anyways, thanks for looking at my art and reading my rant! (If you did, if not, don't worry)

Have a good one! 🌟✨️✨️👋

(i keep forgetting to include my logo in my fanarts, but whatever, maybe next time, maybe next year ill start. Idk.)

[dnickels]

RE: 5x05. I have no idea how much I'm supposed to read into this, but that has never stopped me before:

It's VE Day. Havers is back in England. The post office, telephone system, communication infrastructure etc all still work. So where is Cap's sense of urgency coming from? He knows the full name and regiment of a serving officer, a letter will get where it needs to go, they're very good about that over there. Yes, Cap's been waiting, but its been six years, he can wait a little longer-- hang out in the bushes until he sees Haver's car drive away and bang on the window, if he insists on being an insane person (<3). Figure out where he's billeted. Japan hasn't surrendered yet, so I suppose there's a chance Havers could get shipped to Burma or something and potentially die there, but he's not going to go straight from the cocktail reception to the troop ship, especially if everyone there is about to get "Hitler defeated"-levels of drunk. ("They're all red tabs, surely decency and decorum--" they are going to roll those old soaks out of there in wheelbarrows)

The urgency isn't because Havers might die. I think Cap knew his time was short.

He's a middle aged man in tolerably good shape, all that ration food aside. He make good time on his morning jogs, and his biggest ailment is 'creaky knees'. "Widowmaker heart attack out of nowhere" isn't an unheard of COD for someone who seems otherwise fine, especially someone who has been under a fair amount of stress (six years of wartime, including the fucking Blitz would do a number on my heart) but his sudden relocation makes me pause. It's only been about a year since he got relocated away from Button House, right? What was all that about? It's presumably still requisitioned, given that they're throwing a swanky victory party there and Heather Button is nowhere to be seen, but has the weapons program been disbanded? Or was there some reason to pull the CO out of a high-stress position and send him to the beach to take potshots at seagulls? (I am being glib here-- the coast was NOT a stress-free place when you can see your enemy just across the Channel). I genuinely forget what he said he was doing in season three-- was he even still in the army at all, or did they send his ass to the Home Guard? Even they got a campaign ribbon.

I think Cap made one last push to get to the front, and while its very clear that this dingus should under no circumstances be on the front line (<3) they humored him with a medical-- and found something really troubling. Or maybe he went in of his own accord, the old flutter, or maybe it was just a routine checkup. Either way he got some very serious news, so sorry old boy, just one of those things, could be any day now-- best make sure your affairs are all in order.

Hence the single-minded desire to meet, once last time. Everyone else clearly drove-- did he walk all the way from the train station, down the country lanes? Did he feel a little short of breath scaling all those walls? Did every set-back and stressor make him more determined-- just give me a little more time, just a little more time...

It could also be that he just got yelled at so hard he died of it, which is almost certainly how I will go, but that was my immediate impression and it has not left me, nor have I known peace. I know there's a few holes in my theory but I haven't talked myself out of it yet. For me the kicker is that he experiences at least ten devastating emotions in the last moments of his life, but "surprise at entering cardiac arrest" does not appear to be one of them. It looks more like grim acceptance. Stoic in the face of death-- a soldier to the end.

[degenerateworm]

Heather Mason x GN!Reader who is about as smart as Okuyasu from jjba part 4

Synopsis: While Heather is already dealing a lot of baggage in this town, now she also has to take care of someone who just got lost in the town and try their damnest making sure the Reader doesn't accidentally get themselves killed out here.

Hope that's aight, thanks and have a great day 👍👍👍

Thanks for your request dear anon!

---

The poor girl already has the stress of the cult trying to take her for their sadistic rituals, and the constant threat of the town itself.

And now Heather's met you, she's even more pressed!

You are powerful, sure. That's something that she's glad about; your ability to kill these horrible monsters on your tail, and your determination to survive with her.

And admittedly, she admires your loyalty to her. Heather has had few friends in her life, and to find one here of all places is ridiculous. The fact that you stay around her mostly is a godsend.

Now, the attribute given to you by the devil is your overwhelmingly low intelligence.

It makes you absolutely unpredictable, and Heather hates it. She's having to constantly look over her shoulder to make sure you are still there, and haven't been lured off by a butterfly or something stupid.

And god forbid she needs your help and the solution isn't simply brute force. If Heather pushes a puzzle box into your hands, your way to open it will be to smash it with the nearest blunt object.

And that's not exactly helpful in a town that seems to revolve around puzzles.

To be honest, you are both a pain and a help to Heather's plight.

She really likes you and your optimism, it helps her a lot during her moments of doubt.

But I don't think that she has room to develop romantic feelings during the events of Silent Hill 3, especially with all that is going on.

Afterwards, definitely! But for now, you are both her rock, and her detriment.

---

"Ugh..!"

Heather grunts as she pummels the demonic dog in front of her, its face giving way to the metal pipe the girl drives into its head. It gives a single whimper before its tongue lolls out of its mouth and into the pool of blood now spreading around the dog on the ground.

Heather sighs in relief, her hands shaking slightly as she looks up. The way is clear now, but something bugs her.

Her radio still won't stop playing static. There's something wrong around here.

And even worse, she can't see you.

"____?"

Heather calls out your name in concern, looking around her desperately as she tries her best to follow the increase of the static towards an enemy that could possibly have you in its grasp.

Hands gripping her metal pipe, she rounds a corner past a rust covered garage, her knuckles turning white from the grip on her weapon.

Until her breath is taken away by the sight in front of her, the pipe almost slipping from her hands in shock.

"____..!"

You perk up at the sound of Heather's voice, that goofy little smile appearing on your face.

You were wrestling with one of the twisted looking dogs, your wooden board wedged firmly between its nasty looking teeth.

While it tries to snap its angry jaws at you, you cackle slightly, still out of breath by your altercation with the thing when you look up at Heather.

"H-hey, Heather..! You think I can tame one of these things..?"

You ask jovially, and the poor girl in front of you has to steel herself as to not hit you with her own weapon.

"What the hell, ____! God no!"

---

Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it, I really based the reader on Okuyasu because he's my favourite JoBro 😭 Do tell me if you want anymore, and thanks for your request!

[illiana-mystery]

WIP Wednesday

Haven't done this in a while, but I figured I would do this again since I have a couple of fics in progress right now. And noticing how much you like Space Oddity, I'm also deciding to tease Chapter 7 in this WIP post.

The other two WIPs I want to share are two Christmas fics I've been working on as of late.

Those being a Christmas follow-up to the Thanksgiving fic I posted, Carving the Turkey and an Jim Bussey and Heather Mattis fic.

Scroll to the two Christmas WIPs proper for the plot summary. 😉

---

Space Oddity

"Saaltar, can I ask you something," you gently asked as the car kept driving you two down the road to your home.

"Sure," he replied, before looking back at you with a smile. "What's on your mind?"

"I was just wondering what you were thinking about earlier," you said, looking closely at him to see his reaction to your inquiry.

"Earlier?"

"Yeah, like where was your mind when we were walking to the cafeteria earlier?"

"Oh," he moaned in relief. "I was just thinking of how I don't want to leave Earth."

"Wait, really?! Why? I know you like Earth, but you're an ambassador. I mean that's pretty impressive."

"All that glitters is not gold, Teri," he moaned. "Yes, I do like being an ambassador. But being here, even for this short time, has made me realize how much I've missed out on. Keitalea is a beautiful place, but we don't have the beautiful wildlife you have. It's a technological, urban wasteland. That's why I started my study in the first place. I needed a new choice of scenery. I want more than what I've known my whole lifespan. I want this...and I want you. My illuminescent has never been so active inside of me. I've never felt so alive since Maalita..."

"Maalita?" you curiously asked. "Who's Maalita?"

"I rather not talk about it. Forget I said anything," he sadly said. "The point I was trying to make before is I'm purposely trying to extend my study and stay here. I don't have anything in Keitalea like I have here with you."

He looked like he was trying to hold back tears, so you rubbed his back to comfort him.

"Saal, it's okay. You're welcome to stay with me as long as you want. Trust me, I'm the last person that wants you to go back home. I would miss you just as much you would miss me. I'm sorry for asking."

"It's okay," he said as he took your hand from his back and kissed it. "You were just concerned."

"Of course. Because I really care for you."

"Ditto," he said before he kissed your hand again.

---

Hot for Santa

Plot Summary: Jim is volunteering to be Santa for the local library's Storytime with Santa event. He agrees to do so since he thinks it'll be a great way to reintroduce himself into the town for Heather's sake. The event involves him reading to the kids, asking what they want for Christmas, taking pictures with each kid. Heather is also there, dressed like an elf. She takes pictures and reports on the event for her day job but also serves as emotional support for her introverted boyfriend. (Smut happens after the main event of the fic. 😉)

"Hmm, looking good," Jim hummed as he looked at himself in the mirror. The old man was warmly clothed in a full Santa suit, posing in front of the looking glass.

He really did believe what he said, until his eye moved to his big belly.

"Well, at least Annie will think so," he moaned.

He didn't really like how much weight he gained over the year, but he knew his girlfriend didn't mind. She loved him just the way he was.

"Now where is she?," he pondered before his phone started to vibrate off of his bathroom counter where he left it. Swiftly, he picked it up to see a message from his beloved.

Heather: Your helper elf is on the way, Santa. 😘 Sorry for the delay. Brad wouldn't shut up.

He playfully rolled his eyes as he read the text. Her boss was always so talkative and always made her borderline late to events she was gonna attend for a news story.

So why would the Storytime with Santa event be any different?

Jim: It's okay. I know how Brad is. Take your time and use your key to get in. I want to surprise you.

He put his phone back down after that, knowing he probably shouldn't text her anymore since she was driving.

After, he went back to combing and grooming his snowy white beard. His facial hair was just as thick and soft as ever, but had gone from grey with speckles of white to just white like his chest hair.

His girlfriend also liked that though, so he decided against dying it back to his grey color, instead letting the grey just overtake the hair on his head.

70 would be hard for most men, but with the young and vibrant Heather by his side, he felt like a million bucks.

And just the thought of seeing his sweet Heather, well Annie as he called her, made him happily hum as the bristles went through the white. But he didn't have to wait for her much longer, since she arrived as soon as he put the comb down.

---

Harry Christmas

Plot Summary: On a fateful morning a couple of days before Christmas, a NWH-type event happens right in the penthouse Norman now shares with his beloved girlfriend, Deja. That event being Harry waking up in his old human body (circa 2007) in his old room. His sudden return, of course, shocks his father and butler as well as Deja. But they accept his return as a Christmas miracle, and make up for lost time during the holidays. But will Harry be able to stay or will he have to return to his former eternal rest?

Meanwhile, in the abandoned bedroom, a gust of wind chill from the hairline size opening of the forgotten broken window crept through.

It breezed past the old wood, peeled wallpaper, and remnants of the yesteryear of a decade long passed, before tickling the nose of its former inhabitant.

The chill immediately woke him up, before he jumped up and opened his eyes. Immediately, shock set in as he looked around in the old, unkempt room while his psyche finally realized where he was.

He was back in his old room...in the penthouse...in Manhattan.

But how?

He didn't remember how he returned to the land of the living. All he remembered was a flash of white before he was knocked out, and now he was here.

Still, he felt weird in his former human body.

For two decades now, he felt weightless and now he was forced to endure the gravity of the Earth again as well as a slow decay of the human form.

But he decided to take it in stride, especially after his senses were awakened by the smell of breakfast.

So with haste, and a short montage of picking an old pajama set to wear, he made his way downstairs eager to see Bernard again.

But as he cleared the corner, he was shocked to find a curvy black woman with a robe and a headscarf on in the kitchen instead.

Who was this lady?, he thought. Was she the new help? Or was she a secretary that his father managed to bed?

"Oh, Manny, finally you're awake," she chirped before she turned around. But she was more than shocked to see Harry standing in front of her instead of her boyfriend.

"Harry?!" she exclaimed.

"Manny? Who's Manny? How do you know my name? And who are you?"

"I can't believe...how...where...what," she asked in shocked before she had to sit down. "You're dead. How is this possible?"

"I'm not sure," he answered crossly. "But would you please be so kind to answer my questions."

"I must be dreaming," she murmured. "This is all a dream and you aren't here. Right, right..."

"I assure you I'm real," he insisted before he touched her hand. She jumped and pulled her hand back before looking up into his lively smoky brown eyes.

"Oh my gosh. I'm not dreaming. This is real," she exclaimed before she began to tear up. "I don't know how this is possible, but I'm actually happy you're here. Your father needs you. He missed you so much and has told me so much about you."

"Wait, he misses me? How do you know that? What has he told you?" he asked before sitting down across from her.

"I know that because I'm your father's new girlfriend," she started. "My name is Deja Salazar-Tate and your father is my everything. I love him so much. And he really regrets how he left things. I think he seeks closure and your forgiveness."

"He does love and miss me," he mumbled to himself before he looked back at the woman across from him. "Thank you for the confirmation. I feel the same. I wish we could get the time back."

"Unfortunately, you can't get that time back," Deja said softly before squeezing his hand. "But that doesn't mean that you can't use the time you have now to make amends. I want that for both of you. All I want for Christmas is Norman's peace of mind."

---

Taglist: @imwithyoutiltheendofthelinebucky, @ghnaim24, @emily-ella-nightshade89, @braindead94, @lost-in-the-forest-again, @writingkitten , @freddiefredfive

[drdemonprince]

Thanks for answering my ask earlier- lol, readinf it back i was basically shouting "i need to read your book" while prefacing my ask with "i haven't read your book". I'm still not far into it but it's unsurprisingly striking a lot of chords in my mind. I think I was avoiding it somewhat because I have intense fears about unmasking (whether what i'm unmasking is autism or not? that's definitely the process) but also because i expected the language to be dense or academic which was kind of silly because i really had no indications that it would be that way.

Well anyway thanks for everything i'm already getting out of the book and process which i'm sure will be small compared to what i'll get from the rest of it :)

Thank you -- Heather Morgan's great insight when I interviewed her for the book was that unmasking Autistics are really, really afraid of what they're gonna find behind the mask they wear, and the costs that taking off the mask will incur for them. And that's why she strongly encouraged me to put an exercise at the very front of the book that's designed to help unmaskers walk through those fears and investigate what their unmasked self *might* be like from a more positive point of view. I recommend pausing your reading to do each of these exercises as you come to them -- it really enriches the experience. Happy reading!

[englishstrawbie]

NCIS Hawai'i 3x05

How can we be half way through the season already? ☹️

Firstly, whoever chose to put Lucy in that suit is owed a pay rise 👌🏻

I love that they gifted us a Lucy-centric episode and I love that they gave us a little more insight into Lucy's family. I feel like it must be leading somewhere, if not this season but perhaps next season. Lucy's parents showing up in Hawai'i? A road trip to Texas? At least, I hope so, because it left me wanting to know more about that family dynamic.

It felt intentional that Lucy said she has nothing to do with the family business - not her family. We heard her talking about the fact that her parents aren't going to give her a big family wedding because of her sexuality, but I've always got the impression that she has some sort of relationship with them, even if they're not close.

It's interesting to me that we've seen Lucy push Kate to be more open about her brother, when she herself is a closed book when it comes to talking about her family. She wants more than she can give herself.

Another thing I'm curious about is Lucy's brothers and the comment that her eldest brother is having personal problems, which is why Michael is taking over the family business. Ever since 2x20 and the way Lucy knew how to talk to Joe, I've wondered if she has someone in her family or past who struggles with their mental health and I wonder if that person is her eldest brother?

I needed way more worried!Kate in this episode. I love that all three guys text her (no call???) and I felt it when she snapped at them, but I feel like we saw more tension from her in 1x11 when Lucy's undercover mission went wrong than in this episode. Less Sam, more Kate please.

And oh, that Kacy scene at the end was so lovely.

"I waited as long as I could" "I didn't realise I missed you so much - or how strong you are" "It was only twelve hours" ... "It felt longer"

I love how much they love each other. 🥰

Also...

Give me Lucy and Kate curled up on the couch watching crappy television please.

Lucy's reaction to Camille was so good, I love her teasing relationship with Kai. Also, Ernie and Jesse watching the CCTV footage of them at the hotel. 😂

That said, I'm suspicious of Camille. I don't really have a good reason why, except wondering why she's there and why we've met her so quickly. (Especially because we still haven't met Heather!) Maybe I'm being irrational but I'm staying suspicious for now.

"I know everything, Kai" ... Jane Tennant is the boss.

If anyone reads any good post-3x05 fics (when AO3 is back up and running 🥹) then feel free to rec them in the comments or my inbox please!

[austennerdita2533]

Hi friend-miss you!!

Really random but do you have any recs for just like fluffy happy fun books (or Klaroline fics). Feeling very sad (I’m fine I just finally moved and my mom came over to help me but she flew out today) so just need some joy but for some reason none of my tbr is screaming joy right now 😅 probably because most of the books on my “really want to read” tbr are angsty 😂 so just looking for some other options!

-ACOTAR anon

Hello there, lovely! I miss you, too! Between working like a maniac and traveling a lot this summer, I have been the world's worst correspondent. My inbox still is overflowing with unanswered messages from months ago because I. am. awful. haha. 😬😇

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling sad, though. :/ That's completely normal after a big move when you're away from everything and everyone that's familiar to you. It'll take some time to adjust, but I know it'll end up being a great experience for you and you'll blossom in all sorts of ways. 💖 That said, in the meantime, if I can help take the edge off your sadness with some fluffy book and fic recs then I absolutely will!

Book recs:

-When in Rome and Practice Makes Perfect by Sarah Adams (These are the two I've read from her so far and they're in the same series. So cute! Honestly, I feel like you could pick up anything from her and it'd be adorable.)

-Funny Story by Emily Henry (Don't know if you've read this one yet but I feel like it's one of the wittiest of all her books. And Miles is a golden retriever boyfriend)

-Divine Rivals and Ruthless Vows by Rebecca Ross (It's a fantasy series that's set during a war between gods BUT the main characters fall in love over letters they write using a magical typwriter. It's cute, I think you'd like it.)

-The Rom-Commers by Katherine Center (I got an ARC of this a couple months ago and I absolutely FLEW through it. She writes a lot of cute romcoms) You could also check out The Bodyguard and Hello Stranger by her, too.

-Next-Door Nemesis by Alexa Martin (This one's fun because the main pairing have a history but then they decide to run against each other to be HOA president.)

-Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Faeries and Emily Wilde's Map of the Otherlands by Heather Fawcett (Another fantasy series, but it's more of a cozy fantasy. Emily and Wendell have THE best banter)

-Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating by Christina Lauren (I read this years ago, but I remember giggling and kicking my feet.)

-A Lot Like Adiós by Alexis Daria (Friends to lovers, fake dating, and second chance romance)

-I also currently have Just for the Summer by Abby Jimenez and This Summer Will be Different by Carley Fortune sitting on my bedside table. Haven't read them yet but the summaries sounded the right combo of fluffy and summery to me

Fics Recs:

-Tbh, I haven't read any Klaroline fic in a while and I haven't bookmarked as many as I thought I did on AO3. (SHORTSIGHTED OF ME, AHHHH.) Let me have a think on this and I'll get back to you. Or, if anyone in the KC fandom sees this post and wants to drop a rec or ten in the comments then I'd be grateful.

Anyway, I hope a few things from this list will help cheer you up! *all the hugs*

[triviareads]

I started the month strong by cracking, buying the last two books, and finishing Sierra Simone's Thornchapel series (here are my final thoughts), and then mostly spent the rest of the month on ARCs (see below) and a pretty diverse array of romances. All in all a great month!

Bed Me, Baron by Felicity Niven (releases September 7th)

I haven't had this much fun reading a historical romance in a long time. It's one of those romances that start off relatively light and frivolous (and there's an immediate "teach me" moment), but by the end, it really packs an emotional punch. For my full analysis on friends-to-lovers and the daddy of it all, here's my review.

Full Moon Over Freedom by Angelina M. Lopez (releases September 5th)

I'm not one to read romances with magic in them, but Angelina wrote wrote this deeply cultural and spiritual take on magic and superstition and intertwined it with the romance masterfully. Here's my full review.

The Duke Gets Desperate by Diana Quincy (releases September 26th)

This book felt particularly special to me because the heroine is a first-generation immigrant and retains both her family's Palestinian culture and that classic can-do American spirit. The cultural rep as well as the feminist legal themes are compelling reasons for why we should be reading and writing more historical romances set later in the Victorian era. Here's my review.

It Had to Be a Duke by Vivienne Lorret (releases November 28th)

Adorable, hysterical, full review coming in a couple months, but here are my reactions.

What Was Meant To Be by Heather Guerre

Small-town romance done right. This one really hit on an emotional level; Rain has been under her father's thumb her entire adult life and was never given the resources and support she needed as someone with autism. As a result, she finds herself coerced into marry Wes, a guy in rural Wisconsin she's never met, so Wes can get the property he needs for his resort (basically a dowry :/). What follows is heartbreaking and uplifting at once: Rain begins to exercise her independence and she and Wes slowly come around to an tentative understanding. This is a book where fucking leads to feelings and there are some great sex scenes in this one. Rain is the dominant one in their sexual relationship, and Wes is 100% here for it... a Good Boy, if you will. It's a soft domme vibe but effective and very natural in my opinion, and I would love to read more of this dynamic in romance novels.

Knockout by Sarah MacLean

I knocked this one out in a day (here are my final thoughts). Plotwise my favorite in the Hell's Belles series (a series of mysterious targeted explosions? come on), and the romance between Imogen and Tommy was a perfectly done Grumpy/Sunshine. Also, if you weren't imagining Detective Inspector William 'The Duke' Wellington while reading Tommy Peck, you were reading it wrong.

Rules of Engagement by Christina Dodd

If there's one thing Christina Dodd excels at, it's writing a bitchy hero in that early 2000s kind of way. Kerrich has a little St. Vincent in him; his biggest issue (apart from his trauma from accidentally mooning the King of England after he fell off a trellis because he saw a girl naked) is that alllll his servants find him so hot they can't help but proposition him, so he decides to find the ugliest governess, procure a child, and become "respectable" thanks to a blackmail threat. Also, he does unironically wear a monocle and I'm here for it. Pamela is the kind of pragmatic heroine I love: she's willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done, but when push comes to shove, she feels very little shame in seeking pleasure.

The Prize by Julie Garwood

If you find yourself missing the Lillian-Westcliff dynamic but perhaps want to see it play out in a medieval setting, then this is your book! Royce is a hypercompetent Norman lord, and Nicholaa (yes there's an extra 'a' there) is, as the blurb perfectly puts it, a "resourceful, rebellious and utterly naive" Saxon lady. In the grand theme of Westcliff, there was definitely some conversation about how it was "unlike" Royce to do some not-entirely-consensual stuff during the deflowering scene, to which I say no, it really was... in character. Man was on the brink.

But if that's your jam, then you'll probably enjoy this one.

Redhawk Reunion series by Robin Covington

I found a new favorite Harlequin Desire series this month! The Redhawk Reunion series is about three siblings of Native American descent who were removed from their parents' home by CPS without cause and separated (I strongly urge everyone to look into Indian Adoption Project, the Indian Child Welfare Act, and Haaland v. Brackeen to learn more because it used to be upsettingly common due to government policy). Adam, the hero of the first book, hires PI Tess to find his long-lost siblings and they fall into a FWB situation with a side of secret REVENGE. The second book involves Adam's sister Sarina, who accidentally marries his business partner Justin in Vegas, and they too end up in a FWB situation except, well, as a married (for convenience) couple. As far as Harlequin Desires go, both are top-notch and deliver exactly what you want from this imprint.

Also, I believe the next book is supposed to be about Adam and Sarina's brother Roan and the President of the United States' daughter, whose portrait he's supposed to be painting and I'm VERY excited for that.

[pbpsbff]

20 Questions (for fanfic writers)

got tagged by @fieldsofview :)) (and probably someone else. i have a draft of this from november. oops.)

1. how many works do you have on ao3? 47 as of yesterday:)

2. what's your total ao3 word count? 190,927

3. what fandoms do you write for? i've bounced around a lot of fandoms since i was like, 10, but since august 2022 i've been strictly writing for mcu spider-man (technically more leaning toward irondad, but. u know). with this in mind however, i have a couple 9-1-1 wips and am about one bad day away from writing big time rush fanfiction

4. top five fics by kudos: Peter Parker's Guide to: Texting, Twitter, and Tony Stark (2,110 kudos)

Everything's Coming Up Potatoes (439 kudos)

Is That a Potato in Your Pants, or Are You Just Happy to See Me? (422 kudos)

If You Give a Guy a Potato, He's Going to Ask You on a Date (401 kudos)

be mean to me (if you need to be mean) (331 kudos)

5. do you respond to comments?

...

i try my best. i genuinely have no idea how it's gotten this bad (if i ignore your comment please don't take it personally—i forgor)

6. what is your fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? oh god i don't have anything w/ a sad ending posted LOL i'm too much of a sucker for a happy ending. (i do have mcd in my drafts tho!!!)

maybe 15. There It Is Again, That Funny Feeling? It's more of a hopeful ending, but considering the context of the story entirely, it's pretty sad.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? every single fic in the series All's Fair in Love and Potatoes. this series is my happy place amongst all the death and despair on my account

8. do you get hate on fics? besides the hate i receive from sapoteylx? no

9. do you write smut i do! it'll never see the light of day but i do!

10. craziest crossover: i hate crossovers sorry guys. on my old ao3 tho i wrote a heathers au hamilton fic and that's probably the closest i'll ever get to one (unless we're counting r&r? since it's technically twd universe?) also this one time (i was 11. keep this in mind) i read a fic that was tagged jacob sartorius/bob duncan and i think about it daily

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? i hope not???

12. have you ever had a fic translated? NO but that would be so cool. i have some regular commenters that tend to comment in spanish and i'm always wondering if it would be easier for them if i had it translated but i only speak engish. idk fic translators are gods gift to writers i fear

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? i cowrote a hamilton chatfic in 2018. next question

14. all time favorite ship? every peter parker ship ever (excluding all the minor/adult ones). big sambucky and pepperony fan too tho

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? i have this wip that's like, peter agrees to go undercover for a mission because they need info from some big bad guy and peter is obviously the least recognizable of the bunch, but he gets kidnapped and all that good stuff. idk if i'll ever get around to finish it, because it's like 9 planned chapters and that is SO ambitious for me.

also my cellist!peter au? i've been trying to write it but the words haven't come to me idk

16. what are your writing strengths? ooooo i think i'm good at realistic dialogue and character dynamics—i have spent hours of my life on fandomwiki looking at different character's quotes and watching videos of their interaction with other characters because that's something so important to me.

i think i'm good at balancing angst and humor too?? idk the walking dead really shaped my writing style because u can have a silly scene and then 2 seconds later someone is dead on the floor. hope to carry that vibe through everything i do.

17. what are your writing weaknesses? i am so bad at describing settings and character actions. i can always see the scene in my mind but on paper it turns into they are at a house. peter sits down in the chair, and is sad. and it gets to a point where i just give up on trying to fix it

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language? ough if i ever write dialogue in another language i'll be consulting someone who speaks said language (which is what i actually have done!!!! i have a fic coming out soon w a spanish title and i asked aster-argent for help:)). or doing the thing people do where they just put the text in italics and write ," he said in spanish or some shit.

idk for the most part i stay away from it (ignoring the throwaway, casada harley joke i make in my parkner series) because at the end of the day i am a white girl who learned how to count to 10 in spanish because of dora and took 3 years of german.

19. first fandom you wrote in? ok so. i was 11 and on quotev, writing a chatfic about the bands twenty one pilots, panic at the disco, my chemical romance, and fall out boy. the fic is still up and it makes me nauseous to think about

i think technically i had an ldshadowlady fic out on wattpad before that but it was a blatant ripoff of another fic so. i don't count it

20. favorite fic you've written? i think this answer changes every day, and will change when i get my next group of fics out, but as of right now—

i'll put down my roots when i'm dead i'm just so proud of it idk. first time i've ever really met a deadline and probably the most passionate i'd been about getting a fic out since r&r began? i just love the whole thing.

Is Close the Closest Star? this one is definitely a tie with the several other angst oneshots i put out around the same time, but idk something about this fic is so special to me. it's like 6 months old and i know my writing's improved since then, but i'll always go back and reread

okok last one sorry ur making me pick my favorite child. Unrotting Your Insides, Unrooting Your Limbs i am such a sucker for recovery fics sorry. i've written several fics about bulimia but this is my fav because it's just. so soft.

tags

oh god i don't have enough writer friends uhhh @norahdevore. if u have not done this already. i am holding a gun to your head and making you do this (and anyone else reading this. please guys)

[ljf613]

OwlCrate Unboxed (01/24)

I just got my first @owlcrate box, and honestly, I wasn't really sure what to expect, or if this was really worth it-- I rarely spend more than $10 on a book, so the full charge of just one of these boxes (including shipping) definitely had me thinking twice. And what if, after all that, I didn't even like the book?

But one of the reasons I was willing to take a risk on this one was because the theme was clearly tailor-made for me specifically.

"Enchated to Meet You"? Regency-esque romance with magic and royalty? That soft, vintage aesthetic that I adore? Yes, please.

And I was not disappointed. While I still haven't read the book, so I can't say if I'll like it or not, what I can tell you is that before I even got particularly deep into the box, I already knew that the price I'd paid was more than worth it even without the book.

(To avoid spoilers, product images and reviews beneath the cut.)

First up, this canvas tote bag:

The design is based on a book called Once Upon a Broken Heart by Stephanie Garber. (It's on my to-read list, I'm just waiting for my hold to come in!) It's got a sweet, elfish woodland vibe going on-- I half-expect to see a tiny winged fairy peeking out from behind one of those toadstools. This bag is also has great functionality. I am always in need of a sturdy cloth bag to carry my books, and I am positive this is one I'll be getting a lot of use out of. The material is thick and durable, and it's wide and deep enough to easily hold at least half a dozen books without any stress. An all-around cute and useful item!

Next up, a reusable cleaning cloth:

The design is based on a book called Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor. (I'd never heard of this book before, but it looks intriguing, so I suppose I'll add it to the list.) It's kind of generic, but I do like the colors. And it does look like the kind of thing that would be perfect for dusting my desk and bookshelves. It's probably my least favorite item in the box, but I don't hate it.

Moving on to the metal bookmark:

The design is inspired by Emily Wilde's Encylopaedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett. (I just read it a few weeks ago, and the sequel is currently sitting on top of my dresser waithing for me to read it.) It's supposed to be Shadow, the dog belonging to the stories main character. However, my first thought upon seeing a large black dog in a forest, standing on a pile of skulls, was of Ruth from The Ancient Magus' Bride-- who just-so-happens to be one of my favorite characters ever. I hope no one minds if I continue to see it that way. (No hate to Shadow-- he's a good boy!) It's a very whimsical design and I like it a lot!

And now the coloring kit:

I definitely wasn't expecting this from a subscription book box, but I am absolutely not complaining. (I've been thinking I wanted to sit down with some colored pencils and coloring pages one of these days.) The quote on the left is from Pride & Prejudice (my beloved), the top-most is from Bridgerton (read the books and liked them well enough but have zero interest in watching the show), and the one on the right is from Outlander (I think that's a show based on some books, maybe I'll look into it one of these days). The quotes are lovely, I like the simple yet elegant floral designs, and I love the soft pastel color palette (and will absolutely be holding onto those pencils).

The last item (aside from the book) is the enamel pin:

The characters shown here are Sophie and Howl (+ Calcifer!) from Howl's Moving Castle (the book, not the movie, though I love them both!). I love enamel pins and happen to have a decent-sized collection, but I don't think I've ever seen a sliding design like this. This design is absolutely enchanting, and I'm looking forward to seeing more from this pin collection in future boxes. I included the envelope it came in because I think it's really cute, and it gives me some serious Violet Evergarden vibes. (The design on the backer card is also pretty! It's really evident that a lot of thought and care was put into every aspect of every item in this box.)

And, of course, there's the book:

This is A Fragile Enchantment by Allison Saft. I'm not going to take pictures of every single customization in this one, but suffice it to say that it looks really pretty and I'm hoping the story inside lives up to everything else in here.

All in all, I'm really happy with this box, and glad that I got it.

[capybaraonabicycle]

PLEASE tell me more about the Hadestown au

Okay, okay, this makes me so excited, please feel free to add and ask further questions as much as you like. It's a very shiny new idea, you know how that goes :D

And this will be LONG, so sorry about that? I will put it below a cut in any case. If you don't want to read all of that, I completely get it, so don't worry ❤

So, the casting: Bill is Orpheus, Heather is Euridice, Missy is Hades, 12 is Persephone, River is Hermes and Nardole works for her, Danny is one of the humans in the Nethersphere. (Which makes 'being a God' synonyms with 'having regenerative abilities' - not sure whether I like that too much, but maybe I'll have to live with that.)

I haven't cast the muses yet, and I am not sure I will include them. But I've been thinking about using Simm!, Jacobi! and Dhawan!Master, I think they'd fill that role perfectly. Whispering bad advice in the back of your head sounds very them.

Missy is the God of Death, Misstress of Hadestown or how we call it here: The Nethersphere. She invites the souls of the dead and promises them freedom and loss of all pain. Then she sends them to haunt the Nethersphere, which looks a little like a mixture of the actual Nethersphere and the inside of passenger forms. Except it is filled with cybermen, hunting the souls for decades until they finally catch up and turn them into one of them.

The Doctor is the God of Hope. Both the living and the dead need hope more than anything so he travels between the worlds in a blue box that 'falls from the sky'. No one knows when he comes or for how long he will stay but no one really cares anymore. The Doctor is old and worn out and has long ceased to carry happiness with him.

River is the Godess of Time. She can make months fly by like days and seconds stretch into hours, sometimes it even feels like she can stop time. It's why she's sometimes mistaken for the Godess of love. There is no time in the Nethersphere so she stays on Earth among the mortals. She can also turn back time and revisit a period. But she can't change anything that will happen, as much as she might try.

This is how we start off: River has just reset to the day our lovers meet, watching their tragedy yet again and hoping against all odds it will turn out differently this time. The story is basically the Orpheus/Euridice story with those characters and slightly different setting. It's about a young girl, Bill. She's the daughter of a Muse, an old friend of River's who left her child behind as muses do.

Bill is not a musician, so Orpheus is a scholar instead. I think that works just as well. Science and poetry are the same thing after all (because of the rhymes). Our setting is the university in Bristol. Bill's a poor girl, can't afford uni but a few months ago, the Doctor showed up. And River made him notice her, so suddenly she's in. Working on her great dream to become a scientist. They have travelled the world together and have just returned, so Bill can work on her finals.

She's out in a bar that night with River and Nardole, when she sees Heather. Bill has been noticing her before in the lectures and now she can't avert her gaze. So obviously, River and Nardole make her talk to her. Heather has never really been home anywhere, always carried away by the wind. She's never had anyone to care for her either and thus initially, Bill comes on quite strong. But she's kind and bright-eyed and asks the right questions and Heather for the first time feels SEEN.

So in the beginning it's great. They get together, move in together while both attending university. Bill gets closer to her goal of becoming a scientist and Heather finally has a reason to stay. But the TARDIS comes to take the Doctor back to the Nethersphere. And Bill can't finish her studies. She works tirelessly, tries to become the best she can so when he is back, she can finish and her and Heather will be free.

Heather starts fearing he might never come back. No one has come back from the Nethersphere except Gods; and frankly the Doctor doesn't seem much like a God anymore. She implores Bill to give up on him and leave. Without the Doctor without the chance to finish school there is nothing here for them.

But Bill can't give up. So Heather relents and she stays but she wishes for a way out. And then the blue box lands at uni again. And Heather recognises her. So she investigates. There is a strange woman in the box, telling her the Doctor's her boyfriend and she can bring her to him. Heather doesn't trust her, suspects that she is the Misstress of the Nethersphere. But she has to take the chance and so she follows her.

They arrive at the Nethersphere and Missy shows Heather a man who shall show her around. The man does not give a name and when Heather asks he says he doesn't remember it. But it doesn't matter, what matters is that they don't stay too long in one place. Heather tells him she is looking for someone but when she tries to tell him the name, she can't remember it either.

Shortly later she completely forgets why she has come, where she has come from and who she is. She only has the vague feeling that there is another person supposed to be walking next to her, not her new friend. When she tells him, his eyes gloss over and he admits that he has been thinking the same thing. He believes he can sometimes see 'her' in his dreams but when he wakes up, she is gone.

They stick together and stay close to the river of the dead. There are scary voices crying out from there but the water scares the cybermen away and according to Heather's new friend that is all that matters. Sometimes, they will stumble into an old man people call 'the Doctor'. He roams around aimlessly across the Nethersphere, telling stories of a phantastical land he calls 'the world of the living'.

Heather's friend doesn't like the bumbling old man who's rude and self-obsessed and always leaves you with a bad feeling. He is wary of him and says he is in cohorts with the Misstress. But for some reason, he feels strangely and comfortingly familiar to Heather. Like he is part of a promise she is trying to keep without knowing what it entails.

Back on Earth, Bill notices that Heather is gone and starts looking for her. With River and Nardoles help, she finds her way to the Nethersphere. Maybe they have a way of calling the TARDIS and allowing her to exit without contract?

Not long after, Bill finds Heather. Her ways of asking the right questions make Heather remember her and the other lost souls start questioning whether the Nethersphere is the paradise Missy likes to portray it as and whether they can't run away in the TARDIS with Bill.

Missy senses the dawning revolution and decides to kill Bill and Heather before they can reach the box. The Doctor can convince her to hear Bill out instead. Bill figures out the relationship issues the Doctor and Missy are having and gives them a basis to work on to improve them in the progress.

Missy decides she will give Bill a test and if she wins, her and Heather can return home and Heather can live again. But they can't use the TARDIS this time, they will have to walk, the long, cold and dark way back to Earth.

We definitely want some 'don't turn around' thing here but I don't quite know what yet. And when Bill eventually does turn around, Heather is getting pulled back. Bill grasps her hand, but Heather is like smoke, escaping her. That's when a cyberman shows up. Bill understands that she can't hold Heather because she does not belong to the Nethersphere. But the cyberman does and he can convert her.

And now there are two possibilities I have been thinking about :

A) Bill asks the cyberman to help them and convert her. The cyberman looks past her at Heather and calls her by her name. She recognises him as her friend - Danny, as he lets her know because he can remember anything now - and pleads he will leave them be instead. Danny realises that in Bill's shoes he would have asked for the same and he goes and converts her.

Bill can hold Heather now and for a moment, she fears she will get converted now, too, because that's what cyberman are built to do. She tries her best to remember Bill how she looked before even though the Nethersphere tries to steal her memories away. So she closes her eyes and kisses the cyberman, where Bill's mouth would have been. When they part, Bill looks like herself again and all of Heather's memories are back. Both of them are dripping water.

Defying both the cyberman programming and the Nethersphere forgetful-mist turned them into their anti-matter: the water of the river running along the seems of the Nethersphere and all over the world. They return to the river and continue to travel between the worlds together, promising Danny to watch over his love who is still on Earth until they will eventually help her cross.

The cycle finally broken and her friend lost, River decides to leave time on Earth in Nardole's care for a while and visit her husband and wife in their realm. She helps them heal and Missy undoes the cyberman conversion, transforming the Nethersphere into a less twisted place.

But that's kinda exactly the opposite of what happens in the pilot and I am not sure I like that. So option

B) Bill doesn't get converted. Heather asks her not to, or Danny refuses, or the Doctor shows up and talks her out of it, or she decides herself that she doesn't want that. So she has to leave and Heather has to stay. But Danny and her promise to look after each other and for some reason (aka the Nethersphere healing) he doesn't have to convert Heather. Danny makes Bill promise to look after his love on Earth, Clara.

So Bill leaves alone. River restarts the cycle again and again until she finally gives up. She leaves to help heal the Nethersphere. The Doctor comes back to Earth and helps Bill become a scientist.

Bill searches Clara. They become friends, they move in together. Bill has a full life. Gets to live her dream and continues learning and travelling, often accompanied by River, Nardole, the Doctor and Clara. She dates a few women but neither her or Clara find anyone solid again because their love lives in the great beyond.

(But Clara is so crushing on the three Gods that keep visiting Bill and Bill doesn't know whether she finds it funny or it makes her uncomfortable. No, she knows with Missy it makes her uncomfortable.)

They stay together and when Clara dies of old age, Bill stays behind alone. One night - Bill is very old now - she hears the TARDIS land in her flat. She expects the Doctor to come stumbling out babbling nonsense or River to come and hug her or even to just hear Missy's drawl. But it stays quiet. So she goes and opens the door herself.

Heather is standing at the console, having come to pick her up. She looks exactly like Bill remembers and when she looks up there is recognition in her eyes. She tells Bill that the Nethersphere is a good place now and that she has come to take her home.

(Possibly, she mentions that the TARDIS can not only go to the Nethersphere but anywhere in the world. And then maybe they're taking the long way round.)

The End.

*************

Now, I have a bunch more thoughts on why Bill=Orpheus and Heather=Euridice and especially 12=Persephone is beautiful. And on 12/Missy's relationship and how River fits in there, too. And there are a couple of quotes from both the show and the series I desperately want to include.

I also have some thoughts on why I am not making this about capitalism/climate change (mostly because the Master really, really isn't Hades). That point bothers me a little because it's one of the main things I love about the musical. But I am not trying to be political in my silly little fanfics so it's alright.

Anyway, this is way too long already. Props to you if you read all of that! So, yeah, please feel free to ask further questions or weigh in on this and tell me your opinion! I am still heavily planning and have no idea whether I will write anything (more than I just did 😅).

Also no idea how good or bad or wrong or right this idea is in total. There are definitely things that are still bugging me, but generally this has brought me so much joy during the last days and that's already worth a lot :D Sometimes you just have to go crazy with a concept and then never touch it again 🤷‍♀️ I'll see if that's the case here :)

[pbandjesse]

I am so ridiculously tired right now. It like hit me this afternoon and I haven't felt exactly right since then. I am very much ready to close my eyes.

I didn't even sleep bad last night. I really like the new pillows. And when I woke up I desperately did not want to get out of bed but I knew I had to. Laying on the couch in their bike shorts. They said that they were going to go for a bike ride. But they were going to wait until I left. Which was nice of them.

Company staff and I was at the door by 8:00. I felt fine but it was cold out. I basically wore my sweatshirt the entire day. Which I enjoyed but also was surprised how chilly it was. I left the house wearing my sandals but once I got to work I switched into my moccasins and basically just tried my best to be comfortable.

When I got here I didn't have a ton of setting up to do. Everything was basically done so I just got the rest of the hot glue guns out that I pulled it from my studio. And I wasn't sure if I was going to have Anton again today and he ended up not being with me. Which was fine so I just would have counselors and CITs Manning the hot glue gun station. And I was up here getting things ready when Louise came up and asked for help with sewing.

So I had her sewing and I was just chilling talking with her for a while. I would run down to the nurse's office to use the bathroom and came back and we waited for my group.

And everyone did a really good job today. Minimal burns without glue guns. And I was able to mostly sit outside and supervise and check in with the kids while I worked on sewing my squares.

Chris would come up to the building to give me some papers for my self-assessment review for the summer. And he took some notes too. I was a little annoyed that he came up during a time when I am just supervising so I am sewing at the same time. But he was there the other week and saw my intro and saw like my engaging behavior as well so I'm hoping that he sees that as a positive. I also I'm glad that he came up at all because I feel like the office people never come up and see me.

And both of my morning groups do the next one job so once we were cleaned up I was able to head down to lunch.

I did not really like lunch. Was a very strange mac and cheese that was made with like baby zoo noodles and then the vegetarian option was quinoa and I hate quinoa. It's a terrible texture. But I enjoyed sitting with Celia and Antonio and chatting. I'm also saw this morning Branch had a very cool metal water bottle / coffee cup with a carabiner handle that was branded with putok. And I was like what I want that. So I sent a picture to Heather and asked where I could get it and if it was for sale in the trading post. And she said that while it was in the trading post it was free and just for staff. And I was so excited so right before lunch I went down and got that and I put lemonade in it it was great. I'm going to use this all the time now.

After lunch I came back up here to hang out and rest. Read for a little while and later my hammock and it was nice. My neck still hurt today so anytime I could take to try to stretch it and lay down was nice and good.

The afternoon went pretty slowly. I start feeling really tired and I wasn't as cheerful with some of the kids coming to ask for string. I was a little jokingly annoyed with one child who comes multiple times a day. And I'm like you need to buy your own strength You're using so much money and he's really not but I'm mostly teasing him but I think he could also tell I wasn't doing my best today and wasn't feeling very good. And he was very kind about it. He kept checking on me throughout the day. So sweet.

I loved my little breaks today so much because I was so tired. And I really just wanted to close the doors and be by myself but it was not in the cards today. But that was okay. I would have some metal casting with the bunkarchen girls. We're almost done all of the metal. I'm going to be sad when it's over because it's been a lot of fun.

The girls made some really cool pieces today and CJ came by at the end and we got to pour the metal on the ground and everyone got really excited when it changed colors. Which I thought was very cute. And then we were cleaned up and we were waiting for day camp.

In Alaska was super chill. Just a really nice group. Sometimes when the counselor is very chill but very much on the ball the group is then also very chill. And I really enjoyed them.

They even did a really good job cleaning up at the end. And once they were cleaned up it was no big deal to say goodbye.

While they were working I was working on my sewing. I finished three whole rows today which brings me to 8 completed rows which means I only have four left! So I should be able to lay it all out this weekend and start figuring out which row goes and which order because while I did pin the rose together as the squares I am not positive I actually did it correctly. So hopefully I won't have to take anything apart. I already had to take one apart today because I put it on the wrong direction. I've been very careful about that and I got A little confused. But I figured it out and fixed it. Before it was too much of a problem.

Once my group left I just wanted to lay down so bad. I got in the hammock outside with my book and read for a little while. I read until around 5:30. I enjoyed being all wrapped up in the hamburg but I also got a little bit of a nosebleed that made my stomach hurt. And it was a beautiful day but I was still very chilly.

Once 5:30 came around I pack up my little backpack and got my laptop and went to the dining hall to get on the Wi-Fi.

And I finally got into writing my Native American field trip lesson plans. This is going to be a labor of love for sure. And my plan is to spend like an hour every day on it until it's done. Which I know is crazy but it's going to be great.

I would spend from 5:30 until about 7:00 working on my document. And a lot of that was just spent on working online handout idea. I got the front page and the back page finished and it took me forever because the formatting was really tough. But I'm very excited and I think it looks really good. And I hope that will encourage me for making the rest of it.

While I was working on that we had dinner. Which was kind of a shitty Pizza. But I liked the bread. So at least there was something. I wasn't that hungry anyway. I mostly stayed until 7:00 and kept working because I was hoping there would be ice cream but there was no ice cream.

Instead I came back up to arts and crafts and I ate the rest of my snail rolls. Which were great. And then I just spent the evening hanging out. I made a pillow for myself here using a pillowcase that I had and some cotton and after a little cleaning and mostly just chilled in the hammock and more of the fluffy blankets because it's chilly enough for that. And really I would just like to go to sleep right now. Because I'm so tired.

But it's been taking me like an hour to write this post because there is drama in the group chat because yesterday a baby snake was found and now we're voting on what to name it and for some reason half of the camp wants to name it Guzman instead of string bean which is clearly the better toys. So we have a pole going and it's all arguments in the chat now. But really Celia gets the final vote because it's her snake. She's the one that's going to take care of it so she gets to name it whatever she wants.

Right now I am going to go brush my teeth and hopefully fall asleep quickly because I do not want to be up all night. I want to sleep a very long time and wake up tomorrow and feel better. That is the goal in the plan. Let's hope that it works out the way that I want it to.

Tomorrow I am not sure if I'm going to go home or what but I hope that is a good day. Not that you all sleep well and take care of each other. And I hope that tomorrow is beautiful. Good night everyone. Until next time.

[squarebracketsmileyface]

You should really watch Heathers, I think you would enjoy it. 👀

But also you should listen to Paranoia by Nathan Wagner. Its a really long song(like seven minutes), but you’ve gotta listen to it all the way through cause even though it sounds like it ends at one point it doesn’t.

The point is, that song is SO Alex coded, it was the first song I thought of when I read the Promise fic you wrote from his pov. Its so angsty and deliciously sad and there’s just so many good lyrics in it- I highly recommend giving it a listen. 👀

Honestly, from what I've heard about Heathers it sounds so good. Pretty sure i got introduced to it through a fuckin killing stalking cosplay mv fucking YEARS ago💀💀 sorry, anyway, it's been something I've been meaning to watch for a while lol.

Oooooooooo okay i haven't heard of that song before, i do love long songs tho, they're so cool to me

god this got long, but also, the song's 7 minutes 40 long, so yeah what was I expecting

Okay but like, "Instincts, waging war inside, They hold me up so tight, Fear, freezes me to ice, I'm locked up in my mind" is SO Alex struggling with the whole Operator thing. Like, he's terrified of the thing, that much is pretty obvious from his scribbles and stuff like that, and him wanting to stop the operator from being able to spread, so his instincts are telling him to run away and stuff like that, but he knows he can't because if he does the operator will just infect more people. He's terrified and fighting against his own instincts to run the fuck away, but he also knows that realistically there's no way he'd actually be able to escape the operator if it didn't want him to. he's stuck with it until he dies, and he can't die yet or it'll win.

also "Mind, it wavers back and forth, Paranoid, so calm and sure" is so right for Alex, because the only thing he knows for sure is what his fear and paranoia tell him. The only thing he knows for sure is he'll never be able to escape the Operator unless he dies, and that he can't die until he's saved everyone else from it.

"See everything that could go wrong, It clings to me from dusk to dawn, To isolate's the only way" chapter twooooooooo of Sorry, It's Locked. Alex realising just how badly it could go if Jay keeps investigating what's going on, so he purposefully tries to push him away and make him hate him. Because he genuinely does care about Jay and he doesn't want him to meet the same fate that Amy did, so he has to push him away so that he leaves Alex to deal with everything on his own.

"I'm locked up in my mind, Locked up in my mind, Locked up in my- Won't you let me go? Just let me go, I can't take much more," ehehehehehehhehehehe Alex in entry 80 and beyond, after killing Jay >:] cos i still really wanna write a fic about how entry 80 would go in this au (au?). like, Alex would STRUGGLE after killing Jay, he really would. He spent so much energy trying to keep Jay out of all this, only to find that it didn't work and "oh holy shit I've killed Jay, he's bleeding out in my arms, oh my god oh my god I'm so sorry. It was all I could do. I tried to save you, I tried to find another way out for you but you're too fucking stubborn and now you've forced my hand and you're going to die"

and after that he doesn't really care anymore. He goes after Tim because it's the right thing to do, but his heart's not really in it. Losing Amy was a massive blow, but it stoked the fire and made Alex want to fight harder to save Jay in a way that wouldn't require his death. Losing Jay despite all that strips the fire right back out of him again, he tried, and he failed. And then he gets that whole speech from Tim about how he's lived with this all his life, and he managed to get better, he managed to find another way to control it, and that just sets Alex spiralling. Because if tim could live with this and he couldn't, what does that say about him?

How weak he must be

How he just didn't try hard enough

How Jay clearly hadn't needed to die if only Alex had figured out how to live with this like Tim did.

How Alex doesn't deserve to live when he's failed so spectacularly, when there WAS a way to save people without killing them

And then that sends Alex to Tim, begging him for help, begging him to kill him because he's tried to do it himself but he just can't. The Operator won't let him go, it just brings him back, or heals his injuries, or stops him from making them or whatever. And Tim doesn't want to kill him, of course he doesn't, but... would it be kinder to? And if it would be kinder, does he want to afford Alex that kindness? (the answer is yes, yes he does and he doesn't care about the consequences because he can see how badly hurting Alex is).

Alex wouldn't want kindness tho, he'd want to die as painfully as possible because that's what he thinks he deserves, and that's why he goes to Tim. he knows Tim loved Jay, so surely tim will be angry enough at Alex to kill him painfully. And Tim is angry, but he also understands Alex, because he's had the Operator in his head too and he knows what it's like and he knows alex thought he didn't have any other choice. So Alex doesn't get the cruel, torturous death he wants, and that's almost worse.

Sorry, back to the lyrics lmao

"Don't know if i'm awake or asleep," Okay, so you know how alex doesn't have a masked counterpart, like tim with masky? I feel like for Alex (and brian honestly) it feels a lot like living in a dream. Not a nice one or anyhting, but that kind of intangible and weird sensation where nothing quite seems real. Alex spends his days feeling like at any moment his hand might phase straight through something when he tries to pick it up, he doesn't quite feel real. and obviously the Operator makes that worse by teleporting him around and making him ill and all that, clouding up his head even more with static and fear. his own thoughts and understanding of what's actually happening are burried by the thoughts that the Operator is just slightly manipulating to get what it wants. They're still Alex's thoughts, but they've been nudged just slightly to the right, and the longer they persist the further they veer from the straight line he'd been walking along before the Operator 'got him'

"please save me from myself," yeah. yeah. pretty self explanatory, yeah. Alex can't save himself, he has to beg tim to do it for him, he can't kill himself to escape, the Operator wont let him, so he has to beg tim to do it.

And i do intend for Alex to have to BEG for it.

"you're not real, you've never been real" honestly feels like how Alex would have felt back in university when the Operator first properly showed up and started tormenting him. Like, I feel like he'd be the kind of person to pull all-nighters to catch up on work/homework/revision or whatever, so to begin with he'd assume it was just a hallucination from lack of sleep, and it'd, y'know, kinda give him a kick up the backside to get him to fix his sleep schedule. and then he does that and he's perfectly well rested (or as well rested as he can be) and this 'hallucination' doesn't go away. it's still there and he's viscerally terrified of it, but he's desperately trying to convince himself it's not real.

because why would this faceless man in a suit with arms that are too long be real? that's ridiculous.

but then it starts following him around, and he's getting aggitated and angry and scared and everything starts spinning wildly out of control until he's forced to realise that, oh god, maybe this thing is real and maybe he's in actual fucking danger oh god oh god oh god

[dailyaudiobiblechronological]

11/6/2023 DAB Chronological Transcription

Mark 13

Welcome to Daily Audio Bible Chronological. It's so great to be back here with you as we weave our way through the entire Bible in just a couple, Less than a couple of months. Can hardly believe that, but it's true. This is where we're at. So we're putting another log on the global campfire and we have turned the page and the stories of our lives and also in the word of God. So today we're going to read Mark, Chapter 13.

Prayer

Father, we thank you for your word today, thank you for your newness, for redemption, for restoration, for renewing, for beginning again, again. And we look at this week as a brand new chance to start over, to take the old that has gone and make something new. To take the mistakes from last week and write them.To take the things that we need to change direction, the act of repentance, and move forward in the opposite direction. Change us From the inside out, we pray. We thank you for your word. We thank you for this community, and we thank you.That you are not above speaking to your people. Give us ears to hear, eyes to see. And give us the words to speak That would radiate and permeate this world, this Earth With the love of Jesus. Pray this now in the name of the Father, the Son, And the Holy Spirit, amen. I'm Jill. We'll turn the page together tomorrow.Until then.Love one another.

Community Prayer Line

Hello, this is Jesse from Ohio. I'm asking for prayer for my niece Kayla. She's having some concerns with her mental health and I just want to pray that it will all be taken care of and that the doctors will get her on the correct medication. And that it will continue to improve. And also for a little boy in our community named Noah, recently diagnosed with cancer that just came out of the blue. And now he is in a coma. So please pray for healing in his body and recovery for him.Thank you.

Hey y'all hey, it's Simone from Texas. Heather, are you really in H town? Because if you are a girl, we're gonna have to get up. Thank you so much for that. I just left Bible study and I'm headed home. And you made me smile. Thank you so much. I needed that. I wanted to call and pray for two and Kingdom seeker Daniel quickly before my time runs out. I haven't been feeling much like praying lately. I've been. I have not been praying much lately, but I really felt moved to pray for Jitsu. So father God we thank. Has his hearing or whatever it is that is about to take place, Father God, that Holy Spirit who will move in that room will be in that room got access to will turn the hearts of the judges and the lawyers and everyone in the legal system, everyone involved Father God, and if it be your will, Father God.That he gets another chance, so he gets an opportunity to do life again. Gotta ask that your spirit will intercede, Lord God, you will make intercession, Lord God, and you will make every crooked path straight in this situation and Father God, if it not be your real God, I ask that you would bring comfort to KSD.And his family and his Son and Father God. And allowed them to know that no matter what the outcome is, that your will will always be done, and all things can work for our good.So, God, I speak life over them and and I pray that you will just move in a way that you have never moved before. Show yourself mighty and powerful, Father God, and allowed them to know that it was you. You were definitely in that courtroom. So we thank you and we magnify you.Jesus name Amen.I'm asking for prayer for my son Joshua.He has dealt with back pain since he was 18 years old. He's gone through surgeries, he's gone through treatments and numerous doctors.Please join me in praying.For a breakthrough.For my son with the chronic pain that he deals with.I know God is all powerful. There is power in the name of Jesus. I'm praying that James will break.Thank you for praying with me.We're waiting and trusting as we see God move in his life. 

[shinidamachu]

Omg, you like the Mummy?! Yes!! Someone who understands good entertainment ❤️❤️❤️. Those movies are my childhood!!! And someone also needs to make an inukag au, pleeeeeease!!!

I mean, who doesn't like The Mummy?

Only people who haven't watched The Mummy, that's who.

I feel you, my dude. When I was a child I had a The Mummy/The Mummy Returns DVD and I shit you not: I watched it every. Single. Day. Can probably recite the whole thing back to back.

As for an Inukag AU, I have some wonderful news for you. Check out @artistefish for that.

@keichanz has also written some pieces for it. Here are parts one and two. And because Inuparents deserve love too, let's not forget this amazing art by @heavenin--hell.

I think this AU is one of those that fits Inukag the best. Simply perfect. Not that I'm biased or anything (I most definitely am).